It
seems I am the Coffee Enema King. Out of 7,500 websites on the topic at the Google
search engine, my essay on the history of enemas is rated number one. I have found
my ticket to immortality. When all my books have crumbled to dust, my little coffee
enema article will still be kicking around the Internet.
When
I first heard the words "coffee" and "enema" 25 years ago,
I almost fell off my chair laughing. At Sloan-Kettering, the big joke was,
"With cream or sugar?" Eventually that joke wore thin, when I discovered
that coffee enemas were a serious part of alternative medicine (CAM). The National
Institutes of Health has even given $1.4 million to find out if coffee enemas,
along with supplements and diet, can fight pancreatic cancer.
An
enema is defined as "a fluid injected into the rectum for the purpose of
clearing out the bowel, or of administering drugs or food." It is one of
humanity's oldest medical procedures still in use. Tribal women in Africa routinely
administer it to their children. The earliest medical text in existence, the Egyptian
Ebers Papyrus, mentions it. Millennia before, the Pharaoh had a "guardian
of the anus," a special doctor whose purpose was to administer his enema.
This was truly a Royal Flush.
Enemas
sprang up from ancient Greece to India. American Indians independently invented
it, using a syringe made of an animal bladder and a hollow leg bone. Pre-Columbian
South Americans fashioned latex into rubber enema bags and tubes (the world's
first use of rubber). It is more ubiquitous than the wheel. Enemas are also found
in world literature from Aristophanes to Shakespeare, Gulliver's Travels to Peyton
Place. Louis XIV is said to have taken over 2,000 in his lifetime. Could this
have been the source of the Sun King's sunny disposition?
No
one knows when the first daring soul filled an enema bag with Java. What is known
is that the coffee enema was recorded as early as 1917 and was recommended in
the prestigious Merck Manual until the mid-1970s. In the 1920s, German
scientists claimed that a caffeine solution could open the bile ducts and stimulate
the production of bile in the liver of experimental animals. The CAM pioneer
Max Gerson, MD, used this clinically as part of his detoxification regimen.
The effects of caffeine, he postulated, travel upward to the liver. He noted that
patients could dispense with pain-killers once on the enemas. Many people have
noted a paradoxical calming effect. But while coffee enemas can relieve constipation,
Gerson emphasized: "Patients have to know that the coffee enemas are not
given for the function of the intestines but for the stimulation of the liver."
Coffee
enemas are still the butt of many jokes. However, in 1981, Dr. Lee Wattenberg
showed that substances found in coffee promote the activity of a key enzyme system
that detoxifies the blood. Dr. Peter Lechner, of Graz, Austria, has reported that
"coffee enemas have a definite effect on the colon which can be observed
with an endoscope."
Opponents
-- and they are many -- claim that coffee enemas can be at least as habit forming
as coffee taken by mouth. They say there is also a potential danger to the rectum,
since bowel perforation has been associated with hard insertion devices. However,
at the Gerson-oriented clinics, they use a short nozzle, which is not likely to
inflict any harm. Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez, a proponent of coffee enemas, advocates
a soft rubber tube.
Critics
always cite the deaths of two Seattle women, which was attributed to fluid and
electrolyte abnormalities, following enema abuse. One took 10 to 12 coffee enemas
in a single night and then continued at a rate of one per hour. The other took
four enemas daily. Drinking orange or pineapple juice just before taking the enemas
should help with the electrolytes. Obviously, one can't go crazy with any procedure
and not expect consequences.
In
a coffee enema, the coffee has to be of the regular caffeinated kind and preferably
organic. There is even a special brand of coffee that was created just for enema
users (www.sawilson.com).
The coffee should be about half the strength of coffee used for drinking, and
should be served warm, not so hot as to hurt tender tissues, but not so cold that
it will bring on cramps. Finally, one should not do more than one quart per day,
except under a physician's guidance. If you have trouble retaining an enema, add
a tablespoon of blackstrap molasses. One then holds the enema in, while lying
on your side for 15 to 20 minutes.
But
which side? The conventional medical protocol is to have patients lie on their
left side while taking an enema. But Gerson insisted that patients lie on their
right sides, with their legs comfortably pulled up, relaxed and breathing deeply.
I have seen grown people nearly come to blows over this question. This is the
CAM equivalent of the war of the Big-Endians vs. Little-Endians in Gulliver's
Travels, where thousands were killed over which end of the egg to break first.
Ordered to break the small end, "The orthodox deemed it their duty to resent
this innovation, and declared a war of extermination against the heretical Lilliputians,"
wrote Jonathan Swift.
A
Certain Ambivalence
I
believe, on empirical grounds, that coffee enemas are helpful to many people.
But I admit to a certain ambivalence about their long-term effects. Here's why.
In 1990, my son and I crossed the country in his old Grand Am, stopping at the
homes of many celebrated CAM practitioners. We visited a man I will call the Enema
Master. He told me of his life's work, which included promoting coffee enemas.
And, true to his word, there in his bathroom, hung his own worn enema bag, Naturally,
I was awestruck. Who wouldn't be? This was an icon of Americana, worthy to hang
next to Mr. Roger's cardigan sweater in the Smithsonian!
The
Enema Master presented me with long screeds about the Jews and Satan which he
read with shaky hands. He assured me that Chinese Communists were taking over
America by planting garrisons (known to us as Karate studios) in every community.
As he spoke, flecks of white spittle gathered at the corners of his mouth. As
soon as we could, my son and I escaped back to enema-free America. As Matthew
Broderick said in The Road to Wellville, "With friends like this, who needs
enemas?"
Maybe
this individual was drawn to detoxification because he already had mental or emotional
problems. Or maybe he had pushed the coffee enema beyond the bounds of common
sense. In any case, while I do look favorably on coffee enemas, I would look out
for tell-tale signs of mental instability which include foaming at the mouth.
Note
from Chet: Although he doesn't write about coffee enemas very often, he writes
about a lot of other alternative health information worth your time, so be sure
to subscribe to Dr. Moss's excellent newsletter at his website.
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