Standing
up to peer pressure is one of the greatest challenges that children face. Many
kids are unable to stand up to the challenge and are led into participating in
risky and often even illegal activities.
Help your child deal with peer pressures by doing the following:
Strengthen the
bond with your child. She will be more likely to respect your views and values
and better able to resist peer pressure if she has a good relationship with you
and feels you are a source of support. This bond needs to be nurtured long before
your child's teenage years.
Promote
your child's self-esteem. Children who are confident and have positive self-worth
are more likely to pursue friendships with children who are good role models and
better able to resist negative peer pressure. Find opportunities to boost your
child's self-esteem and enjoy success by involving her in activities that capitalize
on her strengths and interests. And, of course, praise him for things he does
well at home.
Set
a good example. Your child is a keen observer of what you do and may learn more
from what she sees than what she hears. If she sees that you are constantly striving
to keep up with other parents, she will likely do the same with his peers.
Talk
with your child about peer pressure. Let your child know that you understand how
hard it can be at her age to do things that make her stand out. Tell her that
her peers may respect her decision not to join them in an activity even though
they may not express it, and that some may even admire her courage in resisting
what they could not. Help her understand that a friend who is pressuring her to
do something that may be harmful is not much of a friend. Appeal to her desire
for autonomy by encouraging her not to let others manipulate or make decisions
for her.
Avoid
overreacting when talking about peer issues. Your child may tell you things that'll
probably make your jaw drop. If you overreact, you'll discourage her from talking
with you about these issues again. At the same time use these moments to introduce
some cautions without moralizing or lecturing. Although it may seem as though
she's dismissing what you're saying, she will hear you.
Choose
your battles tactfully. Don't make an issue out of your child's wanting to wear
the same clothes as her friends or adopt a trendy hairstyle. Make your stand on
high-risk peer behavior. Battling your child constantly over minor issues may
drive your child toward peers who are similarly alienated from their parents.
Not sweating the small stuff will enable you to be more effective when you challenge
her on the larger issues.
Help
your child develop good decision-making skills. If she can learn to trust her
own instincts when making decisions, she will be less likely to let others make
decisions for her. Encourage her to think through the possible consequences of
the decision she is facing, including whether it may cause her harm. Let her know
that giving in to the pressure now may make life harder for her later on.
Help
your child develop responses to peers. Help her figure out what to say to peers
who are pressuring her to participate in high-risk activities. Suggest responses
that are short and simple and that she can say comfortably. If she is receptive,
role-play with her or encourage her to practice in front of a mirror.
Get
to know your child's friends, and create a network of parents. Only accept
friendships that involve your daughter inviting her friends home. Spend some time
with them and assess whether they are positive influences.
Don't
hesitate to set limits for your child. Your willingness to say no to her sets
a good example and may help give her the courage to say no to a peer when faced
with a potentially harmful situation.
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Throughout this website, statements are made pertaining to the properties and/or
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